Of course I’m happy about the first two games. You saw all the reasons why the Mets are likely to be great this year. You saw how they can score runs even when their best bats are still waking up. You saw wonderful things happen on the field and wonderful things happen at the top of the rotation. You saw us prove what we already know and what the Cardinals already know: that we’re the better team (for all the good it does us at this point).
But it’s funny how you realize things when meaningful games start that you just didn’t realize before. I realize that I wasted all my time this winter worrying about the starting pitching when what I should have been worried about was the bullpen. I didn’t even realize that I was worried about the bullpen until my stomach started to make noises when the bullpen had to protect a four and then a five run lead in the first game. Why did it do that? I think it was because I was still traumatized by the collapse of the bullpen in the 2nd, 6th, and 7th game of the NLCS, a collapse that cost us the pennant. I’d forgotten this trauma during the offseason. It came back as soon as meaningful games resumed. You realize that you have a baseball unconscious.
Now that what was unconscious has become conscious, I really have to wonder what I was thinking. Do I know enough about the guys who are supposed to give us what Mota, Sanchez, Oliver, and Bradford gave us last year? No. Am I comfortable enough yet, in my irrational depths, with Wagner and Heilman? Not yet.
So I’m worried, in my unconscious. My conscious mind tells me that everything is really really good. But I have dread, angst, and schpilkes in my depths and I’m not sure what will clean them out of there except getting to the World Series this year. Because the deep crazy part of me is saying that even if we have a great season this year, it can all go to hell in the playoffs. Just like that! Poof! I’m being terribly inconsistent. Remember I’m the guy who said we don’t have to get to the World Series for this to be a successful season:
http://danabrand.com/blog/2007/03/02/world-series-or-bust-really/
I still believe that, in my conscious mind. But there’s some fool down in there who hears this and says “yeah, yeah.” Shoot, I don’t want to worry all season even if we’re doing well. I don’t want this kind of psychology, so selfish, so Yankee. Why am I feeling this? Somebody stop me.